In a continuing effort to improve myself and my life, I’ve decided to declutter my entire life and in effort to do so, I’m going to be opening my own little depop shop. Over the past year and a half I’ve lost about 60lbs. So I have a ton of really cute plus sized clothes in my closet that don’t get worn so why not sell them? I don’t know about you other bigger girls, but it always made me so sad when I’d go thrift shopping/second hand shopping with my little sister and never find anything in my size…and I just need the money because I’m saving up for Wrestlemania in New Orleans next year with my boyfriend! I just wanted to let everyone know to be on the look out! I will make a formal announcement once I get photos of the things I want to sell together but I just wanted to give you guys a heads up!
I haven’t been very active on social media at all lately. Due to my job, working out 12 times a week, and other personal issues I wish not to discuss publicly, I have been feeling very depressed and not really feeling the desire to socialize like I used to do. This time alone has given me the opportunity to reflect on myself and my life, and to figure out why I’ve been feeling this way.
I have been depressed simply because lately I have become a creative person who hasn’t had the time to create things. I used to paint, draw, and do my makeup everyday, but now I’m at a point where I’d rather take a nap than draw, or sleep in an extra hour in the morning before work instead of do a full face of makeup. I don’t enjoy being this person. It’s not me at all. I’m making the effort to change that. I’m trying to be more organized with my time so I actually have the time to be more creative. I’m trying to take care better of myself so I have more energy. I’m even reading a freaking self help book! (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. 10/10 do recommend!) This book has taught me that suffering is inevitable. You need to prioritize your life so the suffering you endure is worthwhile. That is exactly what I’m trying to do.
Yes. In effort to address this lack of creativity, I will be posting on here. I’m not quite sure what direction these new posts will take. I’m thinking they’ll be some lush, some makeup, and just life in general type things.
I splurged on the last Kat Von D flash sale at sephora. I know! I’m trying not to buy makeup right now so I can save money for a certain wrestling event next April but I had to! I got the Saint liquid lipstick and lip liner. The color is the perfect pinky nude. The liner glides on like a dream and I feel like it lasts longer now too. I drank over a gallon water the first time I wore it. My lips barely even faded. Love it! I haven’t done a full face with it yet so there’s no pictures wearing it yet and I was too eager to play with it before to get a picture before I took it out of the packaging. I just wanted to say that if you were on the fence about buying the everlasting lip liner like I was, do it!
So I went to WWE Monday night Raw last night and I had so much fun. I got to see all my favorites! Check out my Instagram if you want to see more wrestling: @jennael0m! Since I was wearing my favorite Bray Wyatt tshirt, I decided to go for a sort of possessed swamp witch look inspired by Drac Makens. So I thought Lolita would be a perfect color for that sort of vibe. I used it as a blush and eyeshadow. My immediate thoughts are love it as an eyeshadow. It’s also a beautiful blush but you have to be super duper careful! It is so wonderfully pigmented which I feel is sort of a dual edged sword in the blush realm. It goes from beautiful mauvy pink to clown really quickly. All of the pictures from last night with my face in them don’t show the true color but I really wanted to share my first impressions on this. Over all, I really like it and if you can still find it, I highly suggest getting your hands on it. I’ll recreate the look I was going for in another post.
I got two of the most lovely, magical smelling packages in the mail yesterday! the first one was from scentsy. My warmer, wax bars, and car bars arrived. The second was from The Fizzy Filly. My custom order bath bombs, sugar scrubs and perfume. I will write two separate posts that go more into detail on the contents of the packages but I’m just so excited! I had to share.
There’s also an ulterior motive for buying these things. Scent really does change my mood. When I smell something that reminds of a fun event I attended, like the Fizzy Filly things I got do, or places I love to go to with people I love, like a lot of the scentsy stuff I got did, I just feel more at ease, less anxious. I’m hoping reminding myself of these things will help me get out of this funk I’ve been in lately. I’m planning to do a series of posts on what each scent is, what it reminds me of, and how it makes me feel as I use them so I can get myself remotivated with blogging.
What do you guys think about this plan?
I have been kind of “keeping up” with my perfume roulette idea. “keeping up” in the sense that I have continued to wear a different perfume everyday, and kept notes on scent notes, how it wears, how the scent evolves through out the day, etc. I just haven’t ben posting much on here because I’ve been busy with this job, dealing with personal issue, and maintaining my 6 days a week workout schedule, all while still trying to have as much fun as possible. Being an adult and having these responsibilities and trying to balance is very stressful. I’m starting to fear I can’t keep my head above water much longer. I put so much pressure on myself to succeed, not just at this job, but also at working out and reestablishing myself as a makeup artist, that I just feel so overwhelmed. If you have any advice on how to deal with this stress, please leave a comment. We can chat and exchange tips on how to deal with it.
Anyway! Here’s some perfumes that I’ve been wearing recently and what I think about them.
Ever since I started this new job a long three weeks ago, I have been very stressed out. Not because it’s a difficult job or anything like that; I actually feel like I’m getting the hang of it. However, I also feel like I’m letting other thing that were once so important and high priority to me fall by the wayside.
I skipped two workouts this week Up until this week, it had been months since I skipped a workout. I skipped two this week alone. I low key hate myself for it but I’m also trying not to be too hard on myself. This is what I meant in my last post about a constant struggle. I’ve been so down on myself lately and I just can’t get myself back up.
I have this list of creative projects that I want to get done this summer. I really think it’s a lack of creative expression that has been majorly contributing to my recent depression. So I’m hoping working on these and getting them completed will help lift me back up to where I once was. I will definitely be updating on here as I make progress and complete these projects.
One of the projects I am currently working on is taking all my wrestling pictures off my phone and printing them to make a mini scrapbook. To celebrate getting my job, I bought myself a polaroid printer that connects to my phone by blue tooth and prints phone pictures as little stickers. I’m having fun with it. Going through all these pictures brings back a lot of good memories. I am so glad I get to see some of my wrestling friends tomorrow!!
Do you guys even like these personal posts? Do you want more? Should I just stick to makeup? I’ve had so much on my mind lately and I thought this might be a good outlet. Let me know what you think!