Let’s get real. 

I’m an open person. I will answer any question you ask me. I will talk about anything you’re willing to listen to. Right now, my weight loss is majorly on my mind so I’m just hoping you guys will listen. 

I have been casually working out for years. I’ve only recently gotten super serious about over the last 10 months. I’ll be honest with you guys. My start weight was 320lbs. Writing that down, saying that out loud, disgusts me. I think about what happened, what I did, to get to that point. I could blame “big bones” or “genetics” but that’s bull shit. I made bad nutritional decisions. I wasn’t as active as I am now when I was younger. I have no one to blame but myself and to be quite honest, I hate myself for that. I don’t want to but I can’t help it. 

I am taking responsibility for those bad decisions now. I work out at least twice a day, 6 days a week. Two of those days, I work out with a trainer. I’m on a new diet. I’m trying so hard.  My weight is down to 270lbs now.  My goal for the end of 2017 is 199lbs. My ultimate goal is 160lbs. 

This is my weekly gym schedule.

  • Fasted cardio every damn day before breakfast.
  • Monday- chest and glutes. Cardio on stairs. 3.5mile run outdoors.
  • Tuesday- back. Cardio.
  • Wednesday-shoulders, quads, and hamstrings. Cardio on stairs.  3.5 mile run outdoors. 
  • Thursday-arms. Cardio. Yoga.
  • Friday- legs and abs. Cardio on stairs. 3.5 mile run outdoors.
  • Saturday-high intensity cardio

I try to get other people to work out with me, but they do it once, see how hard I go, and decide not to do it again. (Shout out to Alex for being the only one to really stick with me!) I’m a very competive person so working out with others is the way to go for me. 

Lately though, it’s been really hard to stick to that schedule. My back is seriously messed up and over the past week or so it’s been hurting to the point that it’s negatively affecting my workouts.

  A few years ago, it was so bad that I couldn’t get out of bed for days, which I know wasn’t doing any good for it but I just couldn’t. I had to get an MRI, and do physical therapy for it, it was that bad. It’s hurting the same way again, but less intensely and it’s getting me depressed. I don’t sleep because of the pain. I skipped a workout this week because of it. I don’t know about anyone else, but I get sad when I don’t work out and I don’t handle pain well. I’ve had to put my outdoor running on hold because of this.  I’m seeing a new chiropractor so hopefully I’ll be able to get back to my normal training next week.  

Over all, I feel better than I ever have, even with the back pain. Physically and mentally, overall, I am in a better place since I’ve started working out. I think it’s the fact that I have been in a better place mindset lately, that’s making these back issues affect my mental well being so much. Physically it doesn’t hurt as badly as it did in the past but I think the stark contrast of how happy I was to just hurting now, is what’s making me so depressed now. 

So yeah…this what’s been on my mind lately. 

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